I got several emails from Vicki this morning and I thought those was funny that I wanted to post and share the funnies.. Thanks Vicki!
** Email 1-
Married 25 years, took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year old blond. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed, and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50-year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year old blond, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, and sleeping on a sofa bed. **
**Email 2-
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it…
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Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
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An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week "
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My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
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**THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.**
I think this one was best! :)
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This one is from Mom.. She sent me
the link that was in USA-L.. I looked at those signs and I didn't like how the lady signed a few words.. GRRR.. I am happy that they are getting word out there that they can teach baby to sign but please use right signs for words.. Sign #2, #7, #11, #12, #16 are the signs I disagree with, I don't sign "Sleep" like that lady did but I have seen some people sign that way so I am not sure if some people in different states does sign this..
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This one is from Amy in NC
Don't know if it is true, but it was fun. Quite interesting.
Take just a couple of minutes to take this test & see what happens!
If you are honest this tells the truth -- it's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, NO cheating!!
The answers are at the bottom...
1. Which is your favorite color: red, black, blue, green, or yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5 . Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one)
When you're done, scroll down. Don't cheat.
Answers:
1. If you choose: Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - you are conservative and aggressive. Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back Blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
2. If your initial is: A-K - You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R - You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z - You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in: JAN - MAR: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. APR - JUN: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever. JUL - SEP: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. OCT - DEC: Your love life will be great, you will find your soulmate.
4. If you chose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This person should be your best friend.
6. This is how many close friends you will have in your lifetime.
7. If you chose: California : You like adventure. Florida : You are a laid back person.
8. If you chose: Lake : You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
9. This wish will come true if you send this to 1 person in one hour.
Send it to ten people, and it will come true before your next Birthday.
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This one came from Sandy, my sister..
With Summer Vacation season upon us, I found this to be some good reading.These are actual comments left on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:
"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."
"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."
"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness."
"Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands."
"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals."
"All the mile markers are missing this year."
"Found a smouldering cigarette left by a horse."
"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."
"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests."
"Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter."
"Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."
"The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."
"Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights."
"Need more signs to keep area pristine."
"A McDonald's would be nice at the trailhead."
"The places where trails do not exist are not well marked."
"Too many rocks in the mountains.
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I will be posting other post so be coming back for that post if you are interested! :)